winning <-> losing

to all my sinners
and would be winners
who fall at the last stall
you are not alone
:)

100

ba noi you almost got there
i wish you had seen better days at the end
i hope now that people can see what they have done

license to SMUT

my entry into this comp: http://shar.es/mtzPx
NB: Recommended for mature audiences.


s
m
u
t
it’s my shit in your butt
two middle fingers you’ll fuck
a browned tongue that you’ll suck
my dumped cum in your muck
taking loads like a truck
I’ll paint your disgrace
and smear my balls on your face
to me
you’re just
s
m
u
t

berlin luzia oranientraße 19.3.10 whatever a.m.

shadows in the clouds
casting feelings of where-with-outs
and wandering
through hazy mazes of drunk

sexting

when one reads a regarded friend's reflective piece, is it one's own narcissism that loosens the wells of "mirror mirror on the wall, who the fuck are you, after all?", or is it the touch of another's openness in sincerity and revealation?  [yesshitpun]

for me the two causals are inseparable.

what are you doing here?
"i don't know."
are you confused?
"definitely no."

its been 3 months for me now.

and i sit here now, tired, sated, with an inner elation, mesmerised unfathoming of chance and chances befallen.

thanks2all which inspires, spurs - and for self-love.

,,,only god knows the helluva time ive been having.

be it:

whimsical existential discussion while toking on apache-smokey with newly met strangers,

table tennis circuit with german speaking swiss/french and chicago bullfighters, while live classical piano and impromptu swiss choir harmonies in the basement of my favourite madame,

dancing with devils to new year invitations,

meeting the exact doppelganger of an old flame, and then finding that she's chosen my bed(room),

home cooked meals and hospitalities while talking&living life as though it were, and is, alive...

or simply as last night indonesian/german birthday party in berlin's whoop whoop with layers of cold strangers unravelled into warmth, and vchatting with a dear friend of old...

i have found it hard to find the desire to write about my experiences as that can only capture a little of the much.  also forgetting what happens to me so easily because i absorb the experiences so readily.  my words a rather narrow window, hence my preference for the simple lyricy of that which is short and showetic, diluted but undiluted.

anyway im tired, and need to lie down now...

fuck you, fuck me, be free

(on) chance's waiver passing sail

my hand,
for your hand

a heart's glass,
a trickle of sand

a flashing tide,
on doubtful shore

tied to hope,
with hope no moor

my hand,
for your hand

corner of words

mole bludg*er
noun informal

(derogatory) a person who engages in sexual intercourse with 'moles'.

DERIVATIVES
mole bludg*eon verb [trans.]

ORIGIN from the Aussie slang terms "mole" and "dole bludger"

salty and sweet

we sex in the shower

and I pee on your flower

mixing whales and eggstacy

during orgasms of pregnancy

we'll cower, under warm covers

wink and cuddle for some hours

then rinse our sins
in absolution

from tubes already pinched

philosophocles

excuse me Descartes, but

"I am a figment of my own imagination"

how do you like them apples?

smug

sometimes through the years

you don't know where to go

and then it kind of just happens

before you care to know

so while we may be traumatised

by the past, and its reprise

in truth we'll still shed all our lies

you know?

untitled/delirious

your boobs are pretty good,

but that's not what i'm interested in

I'm into your fucking gravity

your mouth bubbles words

that burst forth

and I thrust deeper

and as eyes twinkle

I enter, the milky galaxy

of your loin's ether

NEIN NEIN NEIN!

OK FIRST OF ALL, IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE PEOPLE I AM TRYING TO RENT A FLAT WITH, DO NOT READ MY BLOG, I HAVE REALISED THAT IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME WELL THEN YOU WILL GET THE WRONG IMPRESSION AS I MAKE VERY SARCASTIC JOKES THAT ARE NOT INDICATIVE OF MY ACTUAL BELIEFS!!!!!!!!

ok, DAMMMITTTT i have so much (non-sexual) frustration today argh! i have now seen a few flats and found an awesome one where i completely blew it due to my ratatat mouth. WARNING: DO NOT make inappropriate gay jokes with people who are interviewing you for a roomshare.

At times like this i wish i had a mad dog to come home to who would jump on me and lick my face.

anyway two places have already said they would like me, but one of them is in a far off part of kreuzberg with no real buzz and the other is with this amazingly cool and nice opera thesis guy, but his flat is expensive and in a an area of Neukölln i didn't take a shine to.

the area of Friedrichshain i just got back from is AMAZING and i am almost dead-set on Friedrichshain or naught. on my way home from my favourite supermarket "NETTO 'marken discount'" I was eyefucked by a real cutie, which alleviated some of the pain, but Netto ran out of my favourite probiotic yoghurt which sucked. oh and they ran out of Rocket/Arugula which meant I couldnt make my intended salad...

anyway i am SUPER-DUPER-excited about this (new) year, my mind swirls with the possibilities i have to reinvent myself in berlin, both internally and professionally. i am also SUPER-STOKED that I already know so many nice people here in berlin, that have either helped me, or touched my heart in some way, with their kindness, generosity, or sincere smile.

ok, i am starving and looks like i'll have to book some more appartment interviews, ahhh what could have been.

Q