go immolate yourself

been listening to the latest release from Telefon Tel Aviv "Immolate Yourself", mainly the opening track 'Birds' which just does something to me.

the band recently lost one half of its members...Chris Cooper found dead after going missing.

this profoundly affected me.

there have been nights in my life where I've spent hours pacing, dancing and singing to their songs...

i feel that there is some existential dilemma in their music.

the creation of that which is bittersweet. man's quest for something beautiful,,,to feel, and for meaning.

that ultimately there is so much that we still cannot know, despite the amazing things we can do here (on Earth).

I wonder what goes through (someone else's) mind when they choose to die...

there is i suppose a lot i already understand, having been at the brink so many times before.

but there is still so much more...one last connection, to have talked to them, mind to mind, before the end.

and i think that sometimes,
we choose to die because we cannot wait to find out that which is unknown.