untitled

my beloved

of only matter

resonates [echoes]

the sound track

to heart breaks

and breath no more

random scribble found on scrap

cock+balls all sweat and brawn

legs apart, inside is worn

here it comes all thick and warm

baby's born! (so vag is torn)

old review found on scrap

Kite Runner - "The Book"

Decent enough story told adequately enough.   Some of the writing strays into being too colloquial/slang/informal, given the narrator's background/age (contrast between appropriate language for age/culture).  Some unnecessary cheesiness.

I did however enjoy the small insights into Afghanistani life and culture, and the subtle commentary by the narrator.

It was this aspect combined with the fact that I actually was curious about Amir's redemption and his real juxtaposition of culture, that worked me into actually reading it til the end.

Perhaps it was a case of immigrant sensibilities and understanding.

Interested to see how Amir's (and I suppose indeed Hassan's)  story is told via film...if any subtlety is translated.

(sidenote: I did enjoy this book, despite the tone of the 'review')

random old squibble found on scrap

"epistemology"

the nature of knowledge, the pursuit of it

cynicism as an impediment to 'knowledge'

yet cynicism is often a realisationthat we can/will never know it all, or enough, or even 'if'

(can be self-defeating of course)

the irony of a cynic doubting, compared to a believer who has stopped asking questions

the paradox of 'true' knowledge being antithetical to the very notion

(sidenote: wtf am i on about?)

go immolate yourself

been listening to the latest release from Telefon Tel Aviv "Immolate Yourself", mainly the opening track 'Birds' which just does something to me.

the band recently lost one half of its members...Chris Cooper found dead after going missing.

this profoundly affected me.

there have been nights in my life where I've spent hours pacing, dancing and singing to their songs...

i feel that there is some existential dilemma in their music.

the creation of that which is bittersweet. man's quest for something beautiful,,,to feel, and for meaning.

that ultimately there is so much that we still cannot know, despite the amazing things we can do here (on Earth).

I wonder what goes through (someone else's) mind when they choose to die...

there is i suppose a lot i already understand, having been at the brink so many times before.

but there is still so much more...one last connection, to have talked to them, mind to mind, before the end.

and i think that sometimes,
we choose to die because we cannot wait to find out that which is unknown.

dearest friends

to fall from so high and wonder why

to have hoped to die, but

for friends to catch thee, and prove

that in their love lies not a lie

untitled

my heart is raw

there is only so much it can take

before it cannot take anymore

you'll have what you want

but you want to feel

and you don't

this is a game losers play

so lets make our bluff

and let dearest hopes and dreams

become lost to fear and saddest regret